The Nightmare I am living
by thatdamnyank
Summary: They always knew a relationship between them would have epic highs and lows to get through, but having one that survives through THIS BS, is asking for a miracle. Good thing they are both as stubborn as they are crazy, they are gonna need it. Book 2 in series.


**Disclaimer:** Season's 3 till the end really killed the show for me, and don't even get me started on that last year and its final episode ugh. Despite it all my love of the original characters in their season 1 and start of season 2 prime has lingered, it is all that keeps me wanting to write them. That being said I try to stay as close and true to them as possible but it's a zombie fic so some oc moments will happen. One good thing is I can kill off the ones that annoyed me most. It's rather therapeutic heh.

As always creative I can do spelling and grammar structure. Eh not so much…BETA WANTED I will feed you cookies and take you for walks for a potty break I promise.

Anyway welcome back my friend's let's get on with it shall we?

 **Chapter 1**

The mild breeze blew gently across their skin as the couple lounged peacefully under the massive maple and the shade and solitude it provided. It was one of the rare moments of down time they were able to get together. With so many people crammed into one place, even one as spacious as Rachel's home, privacy was very hard to come by. Quinn had learned quickly to let the frustrations go and just live in the moment. In this new world they were thrust into, living in the now was really all they had anyway.

It often made her wonder What If? It was mid-April, in her old life she would have been in the midst of a grueling cheer practice. Sue would be gearing them up for their Semi-Finale competition, which they would of course crush. And no doubt Rachel would be running around screeching and acting like a crazy dictator as she stressed over Glee club's own rounds of competition.

Quinn softly laughed to herself as she wrapped her arms tighter around her girlfriend's midsection, which was at the moment draped lazily across the front of her own body catching a quick nap. No doubt the other girl would be miffed at Quinn for lulling her to sleep with softly spoken words and quiet humming of songs. Rachel often said that the timber and cadence of Quinn's voice was one of her biggest weakness, all the blonde had to do was say something in a certain tone and Rachel was putty in her hands. And Quinn had no shame in using that power over her girlfriend blatantly to get what she wanted. Moments like right now being a perfect example.

Rachel had been acting like her usual nepolianic self, giving out tasks for the day and seeing that everything was done properly. But after months of co-habitation every one of them worked together like a well-oiled machine, unbelievable when you think of the chaos of some of their Glee practices, but true none the less. The brunette was honestly starting to rub everyone's last nerve, even Brittany snapped at the little diva. BRITT! That's like Gandhi suddenly going nuts and shooting someone. Seriously, it was that bad.

So Quinn did what she had to do, and lured her girl away for some much needed cool off time. While Rachel always looked after everyone else Quinn felt it her job to look after Rachel, sure she could be a pain and a nag at times but someone had to make sure the brunette remembered to stop and eat, sleep and generally just chill out. Quinn didn't care if Rachel rarely required the two former for long periods of time, if Rachel didn't want people to see her as different then she need to not act different or be treated any different from the rest of them. So Quinn didn't, besides the brunette would always just be Rachel to her. The one on one quiet time with her girl was a brownie point too. And though she would like to think that her soft tones and tactile movement's genius in being able to get Rachel to be sleeping in this moment, she knows that her boobs being used for a pillow at least covered 50% of the reason, but eh work it if you have it right?

The blonde glanced at her watch and sighed knowing that if she let Rachel sleep for much longer all her own hard work would be for nothing. The brunette would wake in a tizzy and storm around like the Tasmanian devil barking demands in a foul mood, thinking she let things go to the wayside and slacked off to much. Running her finger through silky chestnut locks, she peppered little kisses over a brow furrowing into awareness. "C'mon baby. Time to get up."

"Don't wanna" came a grumbled response from between her cleavage.

Quinn laughed. "Yeah you say that now but…"

"It hurts"

Quinn looked down at the now awake figure before her, the other girl's eyes squeezed tightly closed with a grimace of pain forming those beautiful lips. "What hurts? Tell me Rachel, I can't help if I don't know how"

"Being awake." It hurts, they hurt me. Please don't make me leave here. Not again"

"Rachel you aren't making any sense. Whose they?"

"Them, the bad people. They poke, they prod, and they wiggle my brain and cloud my veins"

Quinn was starting to panic now something was seriously off with her lover right now. The other girl's normally sun-kissed skin was a turning a sickly yellow hue, and before her own eyes the other girls arms where starting to show little red dots and blood trails on her vein lines. The rest of her body smeared in random black and blue marks, some even a deep purple hue. The left side of her head was shaved to the scalp and there was a square strip of white tape or cloth of a sort in the middle of it. The worst though was those deep endless pools of chocolate. Her love's eyes were a murky swap brown and so so haunted.

"I fight them, but that only makes it worse. I play possum and that fails too. Please. This is safe. Here You. It's Peace. Don't make me leave"

Quinn tried to hold tighter to the other girl but she form was starting to blur and fade, the blonde was calling her girlfriend's name over and over, grasping for any purchase she could on the brunette but it was all for naught.

"They are calling to me now; it's time for me to wake..."

"UP! Q! Seriously Wake the fuck up! You're freaking me out!"

Quinn's eye's shot open as Rachel's name once again tore from her lips in a strangled cry. Her nails dug into the flesh beneath them as her lungs expelled great heaving pants. It took her some time to come to and be aware of her surroundings, releasing the death grip she had on her best friend's arms as the other girl was hovering over her in worry.

The damn broke, and a torrent of sobs racked her form. "She's gone San. Rachel's gone"

Santana climbed into the massive bed and scooped her second favorite blonde into her arms, they had been here many times before, and all she could do was hold Quinn tight an eventually lull her back to sleep with repetitive shushing and rocking motions. I know sweetie. Let it out. I know."

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Slowly she awoke from the grey, into awareness. She tried fighting it like always but like always she failed. She hated being awake, it always meant pain or a cloudy state. It meant poking, prodding and testing. Being shot up with drug after drug or having more blood taken. It was searing pain coursing through her skull until her brain felt like it would pound out of the bone shielding it. It was the feeling of a thousand fire ants crawling over and under her skin while not being able to shake or swipe them away due to her restraints.

Coming out of the grey fog meant being forced to listen as those two pompous asshole's rambled on about fascinating this and extraordinary that. Often going on about things she did not understand about DNA and dosages of drugs or what they might do.

It really all was a blur to her because most of her time in the waking world was spent either in horrendous pain or it's opposite a lethargic mind numbing state. She was just a puppet on their strings, but if she could choose it would be the later. Though during both she just wished to drown in the grey again, because sometimes before she would succumb to its pull she could swear someone would speak softly to her. Telling her to hang on, to fight, and to conserve what energy she could. It would tell her that she would soon be free.

But she did not know what was real or what wasn't anymore. She wanted it to be real but it was most likely just her mind playing tricks on her, like it often did as of late.

Was her name really Rachel? Was she really that girl with family and friends out there that loved her or was she always here and these were just figments her mind made to keep her calm? She really hoped that the girl she dreamed of was real. The girl with the silky blonde locks, piercing hazel eyes and a smile warmer than the sun. She really hoped that the flashes of moments with that girl and others she thinks are her friends, like a constant picture show in her mind, were real. Most days they were all that kept her going. But with her luck probably not, she was most likely just bat shit insane. No one that beautiful and mesmerizing could be real or hers. And friends? Yeah right. Dr. St. James was probably right, they were delusions. Here was all there was and all there will ever be. He was her only companion and this place forever her home.

But the dreams felt so real….

But real or not didn't matter she supposed. They helped ease her from this place of pain and torment so either way she would be grateful of them. And maybe if they were real so was that voice promising freedom. It was a nice thought to hold on to as yet another lab tech finished drawing blood from her arm, if it was all real the first thing she would do is try and find that mystery girl, well after snapping that douche bag St. James' neck

She watched dully as the same tech now injected a yellow fluid into her vein and …Ah' there it was the pull to the grey again to her dream world. The fog was fast approaching, at least this time in the awoken world there was no pain. Time to slip into the grey again.

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The door swung open, allowing the two women to enter the tiny bathroom. It was Tuesday, one of the three designated wash days for her charge and one of the days she looked forward to, as it allowed them a little more time than usual to talk. And if the blood shot eyes and over all haggard appearance of the other woman was anything to go by, then this talk would surely be an interesting one indeed. Each woman remained silent however, until Kassey had turned on the shower head. It would help to muffle there, already low, whispers to one another. Shelby removed her clothing and stepped under the stream while she went to unlock the cabinet and retrieve the hygienic items the other woman would need. The older woman continued to remain silent however and Kassandra really wanted to just get to the bottom of whatever was going on so they could get back to their plans to get out of this crazy place.

"Alright, what gives? You have been all withdrawn and even more contemplative than usual."

"I can't leave."

"What, why the hell not!?"

"I just can't/"

"Look, you're scared. I get that okay? I do. But we have been planning this for ages. Hell, it took you almost a year just to convince and get ME on your side. This is your chance to be free, Shel, you can't let fear hold you back. I will be with you every step of the way. I gave you my word that I would look out for you once on the outside and I meant it" Kassey said sternly yet soothingly.

"I am not afraid. All I have ever wanted or dreamed of since this all began was to be free of this place. Free of him and now his son. But I just can't. Not now that…Please, you have to understand."

"I'll understand when you give me a reason to, instead of all this cryptic mumbo jumbo."

The older woman sighed in frustration and went back to being silent. Rinsing out her hair and leaving her companion to stew in her building anger, it wasn't long before Kassey snapped, almost raising her voice to a level that could get them caught.

"Just tell me! I can't help you or fix whatever it is if you keep leaving me in the dark."

"I don't think this is something that can be fixed."

"So what, that's it!? You just want to throw in the towel? I refuse to accept that. I am getting you out of here, even if I have to knock you out and drag you around to do it!"

The curtain was pulled back in a swift and forceful motion. Shelby's angered face staring Kassandra down.

"He has my daughter!"

The younger woman's jaw dropped and she stood there gaping like a fish for a moment. Blinked. A moment more. Then blinked again, before setting her jaw in a determined fashion.

"Well I guess we'll be needing three uniforms then."

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In another part of the vast facility the spoken of daughter was screaming out in pain.

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The bitter wind swirled around the yard, scooping up dead leaves and tossing them about in a dazzling display that, for a moment, held her captivated, before lazily dropping them back to the earth. She wrapped her long coat tighter around herself to try and trap in what little body heat remained, before settling down on the tree house's small deck. The weather was turning brisker with each passing day; soon one would be able to see their own breath escaping into the ether. Her thinking spot would no longer become a practical place to be. Then again, if the current ideas and plans formulating in her brain were to come to pass, that would no longer be an issue.

She would miss this secret place. It kept her feeling closer to the girl she lost. The girl they all lost. Sure, everywhere she turned on this property spoke of the girl and her brother. It was their home after all. The way the third step board creaked on the second floor stairwell, where it had been split while Rachel was performing one of her epic storm outs. The way, when you entered either of the missing duo's rooms, you could still catch their scent in the air. The faithful animal companions that had been left behind to whine and wait faithfully by the doors, or gaze down the drive for their master to return. It all screamed to each and every one of the occupants of Rachel and JD. But this place especially drew her closer to the lost girl. Its very existence was bittersweet. It stood a silent sentinel in the woods around it, calling to one of happier times and innocence, but yet abandoned and weary, matching the rest of the world it was a part of, reminding one that nothing every stays the same.

She knew she was not the only one to miss the siblings. It seemed as if a little more of life had been drained out of everyone with each passing day. Some more affected than others, but feeling the loss all the same. They took to glancing at every noise on the drive, hoping that each time a vehicle drove up it would be the friends that were so quickly and harshly snatched from them. Loss. Such a small word, but yet it held so much meaning. They had all lost loved ones. Lost homes. Lost pets and possessions. Lost safety and security. Lost the sense of a future and of greater things to come. The loss of hope. Lost faith. Lost will. What little remained in each of them becoming harder and harder to maintain and now, with the decision before her to make for them, she feared it would push most over the edge like it already had to some.

But what choice did she have really? It has been seven months since that attack and supplies were beginning to dwindle dangerously low. The only things they seemed to have in bulk were weapons, and as crucial as they maybe were, they certainly were not edible. They had practically scoured and raided the whole state in the past months, wasting what little resources they had remaining just to come back each time with fewer and fewer results. It was no longer worth it. Maybe if the few leads they had on their friend's had not of dried up, if there were any signs that Rachel and JD were still in the same state, she could see a reason to keep pushing the limit. A reason to stay. But when they had raided the Umbrella facility that they had forced that captured soldier to take them to, it was practically abandoned, the few left to remain putting up little resistance. They discovered that, yes, the pair had been there, but had been transferred out of state to an undisclosed location. That was, by far, the worst day they have had. Finding out they missed reclaiming their loved ones by a mere two weeks. It was a devastating blow that took them a long time to get passed. Some still haven't.

But winter was closing in faster and faster and winter in Ohio was really nothing to be taken lightly. Even with all the ease the populated world used to provide, it was a hardship. Now though? With no snow plows or rock salt, with limited resources and limited heat supply? Well, it was not something she wanted to go through and she very much doubted the others did as well. So they would leave and head for warmer climates. Maybe the Deep South, or somewhere to the west. And along the way they would continue their search for their lost lambs. It was a must that they leave, she just hated having to be the one to deliver the news and enforce it. Her only sense of peace came from knowing that it was what Rachel would do. It gave her confidence to shove the harsh reality on everyone.

The crackling sound of approaching foot falls on the brittle earth drew her gaze downward from her perch, where her companion waited below.

"You ready to head in? It's getting kind of late"

"Yeah, I'm ready"

The girl gracefully back flipped down to the level ground and pecked her companion on the cheek. The other only able to smile in amusement at the girl's acrobatics, while lacing their fingers together and pulling them towards home.

"I'm sorry I left, I just couldn't handle Quinn's screams anymore."

"I know baby girl, but she is okay. I got her back to sleep and momma bear is with her now."

"I really miss her San…."

"So do I Brit-brit. So do I" The Latina nudged the taller girls shoulder. "But when we find her don't tell her I said that"

"I love you, Sanny"

"I love you too, Britt. C'mon, let's get you out of this cold, yeah?"

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It had taken seven years of long hours and hard work in the corporation as well as an insane amount of night school to work her way up from a lowly janitor to the position she held now as senior lab assistant, (read, glorified nanny). To prove herself to be a trusted and valued member of the corporation so much so that they bestowed upon her confidential information. For three of those last seven years, she has been plotting against them and planning a friend's escape.

She's mapped every inch of the facility. Studied every security code and password, learned every guard's name and work hours, where they were stationed and how long between their rotations and shift changes. She stole two uniforms and they were going to make their move soon—within days, actually. So, of course, the other woman had to screw it all up by telling her that they had her daughter somewhere. Personally she thought they should just leave the brat, it wasn't like Shelby really knew her anyway. It just fucked up their plans and slowed them down. Besides who's to say the kid would even want to leave. There were tons of "patients" here who liked being where and who they were. Seriously this place was like a real life fucking Manticore or some shit. Personally she thought they were all nuts for it, but to each their own. So long as they didn't get in her way she couldn't care less.

It wasn't until she moved up to her current position that she realized where she was working had some really twisted shit going down and the people in it even more twisted. But nothing could really prepare her for Shelby's story and the things she has witnessed since both that young girl and young man were brought in. The experiments they were both put through was beyond fucked up, but again had nothing to do with her personally so why should she risk her own neck for someone she never even met before? She was already putting her ass on the line for Shelby enough as it was and that was only because the woman grew on her over the years…like an irritating fungus you just can't clear up no matter how much you tried. Annoyed the piss out of her that she couldn't just walk away from the older woman but it was what it was, she supposed.

Kassey sighed as she swiped her keycard and waited for the doors to slide open. 'Because when you saw that brat strapped to the table this morning doped up to high heaven and realized she was practically a carbon copy of the only person on this earth you actually have an iota of caring towards or held in any regard you knew you couldn't leave her behind'. Clipping her badge back to the breast pocket of her lab coat, she snagged the girl's chart reading over it again like she had in the morning after Shelby first told her about the girl. 'Man they really did a number on you, kid. I have no clue where they are keeping the other guy but you will be getting out of here. Just hope you don't go terminator on my ass for it when you wake up'. Placing the chart back down and unhooking the drained bag from the I.V. pole as the door slid open again admitting another lab tech.

"Forgot my wallet on my way to lunch," the guy said sheepishly.

Kassey simply raised her eyebrow and nodded before attaching a fresh bag that contained the drugs keeping the patient knocked out. "Give me another sec and I'll join you, Jeff. I'm starving. "The man nodded and waited by the door as she leaned down to check the girl's vitals and passed a light over her eyes, whispering as she did, "You better appreciate this shit, kid."

As the door slid closed behind the pair and locks reengaged once again all could pass for normal in that lab room. Unless of course someone were to cut open and test that fresh IV bag and realize the drugs the girl should be getting had been switched to a harmlessly diluted saline solution instead. But, really, who would ever bother to do that?


End file.
